The Family of God

The thought of family has always been a sweet balm for me. It’s where I was told that I was loved, that I could surmount to something with the gifts God had given me, exhorted when I was out of line (which was pretty often), and learned that a life filled with others is a thing of beauty. While I never had any brothers or sisters of my own, I had an abundance of cousins who spoiled me with great memories. So when it came time to make relationships with people outside of my family, my disposition was one of hesitation. My family was all I had known, so it was a safe haven of sorts where I knew I would be safe. I would keep nearly everybody at arms lengths to avoid even the possibility of pain. But it’s the church who showed me that they could be a people who I could lean on in every moment of life. I had gained spiritual brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers, and began to see the family that God himself had knit together to show the beauty of what a family was meant to be even without the commonality of being related by blood. 

Within this I pray that you may see the church as a place where you would begin to see how the church has come together as a family made by God, see others as a necessity in your walk with God, and cherish the unity of what God has put together.

MISS SANDRA, MY SPIRITUAL GRANDMOTHER

Growing up, I was as shy as they came. I would keep to myself, do as many activities alone as I could, and stray away from large crowds. So when my parents started strongly suggesting I go to church (aka forcing me because I needed it), I hated it. I didn’t fit in, I couldn’t relate with anyone around me, and I didn’t even choose to be there out of my own volition. But I do remember some of my early memories from my time in youth ministry during the seventh grade. I had pastors who talked to me as much as they could to make me feel welcome, but shortly after at the welcome desk, it was the warming invitation of Ms. Sandra. She called me handsome, gave me a hug, and just began to get to know me. It was awful in the moment because of my extreme lack of social skills, but something I would look back on as the years progressed.

Years later in the summer going into my senior year of high school, I had an opportunity to go to Haiti for an international mission trip. I was all in and excited. The summer prior I had lost my grandfather and wasn’t entirely sure how to grieve the death for a multitude of reasons. But my time in Haiti would prove to be one of the most pivotal moments in my life. I had always admired Sandra from afar, but this would be where our relationship would begin to flourish.

The group consisted of youth and adults from my church as well as two other churches from the same city. For the most part I stuck around the people that I knew and the two who would speak to me the most would be Sandra and Clyde (her husband). Between the moments of attending church in the community, evangelizing on the streets, and resting, I would sneak in every opportunity I could to talk with Clyde and Sandra. They would ask about my life, how I was doing, my family, what I wanted to do in the future, and eventually I brought to them how I was attempting to grieve the loss of my grandpa who I didn’t particularly know very well. Conversation after conversation their wisdom began to seep through every word that came from their lips and it was stunning. Decades of life lived out with God had shaped every part of their lives.

At the tender age of 16, my heart began to open up to a fuller knowledge of who God was and how His love could heal me through an unlikely couple at church who just wanted to love the next generation. It would be only a year later when Ms. Sandra would go on to rest and be with the Lord. It was sad, unexpected, but I knew that my “grandma” had lived a life in service to God and was in the best place she could be, in the arms of her Heavenly Father.

TREVOR, MY FRIEND SINCE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

The first day of kindergarten I walk in, don’t talk to a single soul, and my parents give me a pep talk on why it’s good that they’re leaving me at school (which I hated). A while after they leave I come to the realization that I at least need one friend, so I make friends with a curly headed boy named Trevor Turner. Little did I know that he would become the one person who I would make the most memories with in my entire life. 

We grew up going to every school together from kindergarten all the way through High School. We had sleepovers, played video games, shared about what girls we liked, and lived the life of two best friends. Eventually a riff would cause our relationship to take a break for about the span of three years. I was forced to make friendships with others, and they were lovely, but nothing could compare to the friendship of my brother.

In the fall of 2017 I had taken a reflection of what my life consisted of, what I had done for the past four years of my life, and realized I had made a lot of mistakes that needed to be mended. The first person I thought of was Trevor. Without going into the particulars of what caused our skirmish, needless to say it would take a lot not just to reach out to him again, but to forgive him. I’d felt betrayed, bewildered by someone who I trusted nearly everything to end up losing my trust in the span of two months. It would take God to bring our friendship back to where it was before. So I texted him, made some jokes to break the tension, and slowly started to become friends with him again. It was awkward, a little difficult to navigate, but sweeter than I could imagine.

I’d be lying if I said our friendship went back to where it was before. After years of estrangement and constant heartache, it could never be the same. But I’d forgotten the kind of God that I served. I served a God who heals, creates beauty, and restores relationships. The friendship Trevor and I had could never be the same, it was even better than before. We knew what pain did to the soul and how God uses it to make us more of who we were meant to be, we had stories to catch up on, and could see each other as those who were being transformed day by day to become all that God has called us to be. 

KORTNI, MY FIRST SISTER

It was fall of 2016, my first year in college as a music education major. I made a few friends, nervous for the future that stood before me, and ready to conquer the world. It was about a month into ensemble rehearsals and I had a tendency to talk to the people around me. I’ve always had a quirky sense of humor so I would use this to my advantage. I began to talk to the person to my left and to no avail. So I made a few more jokes and in return I received a look of “please don’t talk to me”. Point was taken.

About a year and a half later I had joined a fraternity and by coincidence this same person had joined as well. In our fraternity group chat, she had sent out an open invitation to go to a young adult ministry. The ministry hosting was a church who I had been watching for months so this was my opportunity to finally go see them in person. So I gladly said yes along with another person in our fraternity. Little did I know the effect this one yes would have on my life. After months of opening up, sharing stories, creating memories, I had made two friends I believed I would have forever. Sadly one of the friends had moved on and the relationship shifted, but Kortni had stayed a faithful sister.

Kortni had become a dear friend. We would study for classes together, go to braums before marching band for a pre rehearsal snack, and spill a hot chocolate all over her score right before an important lesson, and share what was happening in our lives. There wasn’t much left on the table that was unknown. I would come to her for wise counsel and receive depths of wisdom that could only be had from extended time with God. But with any friendship came fights, disagreements, and times where we would become distant. But I always knew that if I needed anything my sister would be there when I needed her most. It was through my friendship with Kortni that I learned patience, humility, and sensitivity to other people's emotions and stories. Much of who I am today is in large part due to her influence in my life and for that I’m forever grateful.

WE NEED EACH OTHER

Coming together as the family of God is not only something we ought to do, it’s a privilege we get to delight in. To get to hear the mothers of the faith and glean their wisdom from a lifetime of service to God. To hear the sisters of the faith and acknowledge their unique perspective on how God has uniquely made them and enabled them to uniquely display his beauty. To hear the fathers of their faith who stood firm and displayed what it meant to serve your family well. To hear the brothers of the faith and hear of their willingness to grow in character so that they would one day become the man God has called them to be.

A family void of a mother will soon lose its compassion, kindness, gentleness, and wisdom that God has given wisdom. A family void of a father will lose its grit, strength, and the determination to serve. To embrace the people around you in your family of faith is to embrace the very family that God himself has put together for your good and His glory.

Sticking in our silos of what feels comfortable will work and we could even last a lifetime there, but we’d lose out on the richness of what it means to love and be loved by all of the family of God. I promise you that the life lived with brothers and sisters is a life well lived and worth every second.

PRAYER

God, would you open up our eyes to see more of you? Would you bring more of the family you’ve made, and show me how I can best love them? How can I Best serve them? I so often feel unequipped or even scared of the possibility of new friendships. But would you be the one to show me grace when I feel like I’m not enough? God, I simply ask that you be with me in all that I do. In your name I pray, Amen.